• Madagascar commercial: DA DA DA DADADA DA DA DADA DA DA DA DADADA DA DA DADA
• Me: *leaves laptop*
• Madagascar commercial: AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS
• Me: *acquires gun*
• Madagascar commercial: AFRO POLKA DOT POLKA DOT AFRO
• Me: *shoots self in face*

• mom: why are you laughing alone in your room

allthingseurope:

The Kremlin, Moscow (by Maxim Chechin)

• Television: In the criminal justice system--
• Me: SEXUALLY-BASED DEFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN

• god: hey baby
• god: did it hurt
• god: when you fell from heaven?
• satan: you're a fucking dick

goretrait:

can we all just take a second to appreciate the fact spiders can’t fly

thatsmoderatelyraven:

sandwich stacker was the best game ever omfg

falulatonks:

Totem (n.): An elegant solution to keeping track of reality.

#god if inception had been a book we would’ve gotten all the backstory on all of these characters and not just random robert fischer and mal/cobb stuff #why did ariadne become an architect #why did she stay #tell me about the relationship between michael caine’s character and ariadne#tell me all the arthur/eames backstory and the eames/yusuf backstory #why are arthur and eames’ totems both gambling-related #tell me how saito came to power and why he seems to have so much of it #TELL ME EVERYTHING

fonmasterguard:

So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle